


REWRITE

by mousapelli



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7083250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousapelli/pseuds/mousapelli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was not the magical start to his last year of high school that dramas and manga had been promising Sugawara all his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	REWRITE

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 2016 SASO prompt fill: Remember when he left you and I ask you Can you open up just enough to heal yourself and start again?

This was not the magical start to his last year of high school that dramas and manga had been promising Sugawara all his life. He was supposed to be strolling into practice with his two best friends, being the good cop while Daichi and Tanaka hazed cute little first years, and sneaking off with his boyfriend to make out with his boyfriend on water breaks. Instead the year starts with a quartet of complete weirdos, Nishinoya still working off his suspension, and an ex who seems to have quit Sugawara in the same breath as he quit volleyball, as if the two weren't separate things. 

Maybe they aren't separate things to Asahi, Sugawara suppresses a sigh as he collects a scatter of volleyballs, tuning out the shouting match Tanaka and Hinata are having with practiced ease. Maybe it was always going to be this way, Asahi breaking it off with Sugawara just after graduation, so maybe it's better to get it over with now. 

"You don't mean that," Daichi says when Sugawara mutters the sentiment, picking at his lunch. "You know Asahi better than that. Will you just eat already?"

Sugawara isn't sure that he does know Asahi better than that, given recent events, but Daichi sounds tired, and Sugawara doesn't want to argue. What he wants is for Asahi to come slinking back already and to admit that he was being silly and getting worked up over small things. He wants Asahi to charge in here and sweep Sugawara off his feet and say he misses Sugawara so much he can't breathe and demand they try again, to apologize for the days of missing texts and walks home and to beg forgiveness. 

Asahi isn't going to do any of that, Sugawara knows, but he hangs on to the fantasy where he doesn't have to fix every damn thing himself for just a little longer. It's an unfair test of Asahi's affections, but Sugawara can't help but wish that Asahi would act contrary to his shy violet nature just this once, just for him. 

When Nishinoya comes back, but then announces he won't stay, Sugawara has to do something. Losing Asahi is a deep blow to the team, but losing Nishinoya as well is a fatal blow, unthinkable. Swallowing his pride as best he can, Sugawara goes to corner Asahi in his classroom and demand he pull it together already, that he come back to the team. To Sugawara. 

It never crosses Sugawara's mind that Asahi will turn him down when confronted directly. That it's actually over, not a rough patch, that they're done. 

For the rest of the afternoon, Sugawara is too stunned to feel much of anything. When it finally sinks in, when he's idly watching Kageyama struggling to sync with Hinata and he realizes that he'll never set to Asahi again, Sugawara's stomach rolls, and he has to sink down against the wall to put his head between his knees. 

"Suga-san?" Ennoshita asks, putting a hand on Sugawara's shoulder. "Are you all right?'

"Uh-huh," Sugawara lies, trying to draw slow breaths and wondering if he's having a panic attack. Ennoshita hands him a water bottle and Sugawara lets him assume that he's just dehydrated, that he overexerted himself trying to keep up with the crazed new kids. 

But just when he's starting to adjust to this new reality, somehow Hinata and Kageyama break through to Asahi and bring him back, lurking around the doorway until Ukai spots him and orders him back on the court. Part of Sugawara is petulant that two freshman managed to reach Asahi in a way that Sugawara couldn't, but the rest of him is just relieved to have him back where he belongs. Standing on the same court as Asahi and Nishinoya soothes a hurt Sugawara's been carrying around for weeks, like when an aching tooth is finally numbed. 

After it's over, after Daichi assures their goofball wing spiker that his spot on the team has never been in doubt, Asahi slinks off and Sugawara doesn't chase after him right away. They aren't finished connecting before to now, but cornering Asahi before he was ready hadn't worked earlier in the week. Sugawara doesn't think his heart can't take a repeat performance. 

"Quit loitering," Daichi tells him, crossing his arms. Sugawara continues fiddling with the rolling of the net until Daichi takes it out of his hands. "The first years are supposed to be learning to do that, and speaking of babies, you're being a gigantic one."

"I'll tell you where you can stow this net, captain," Sugawara says smoothly, then turns to go. He hides a wince when he sees the wide-eyed look Yamaguchi is wearing. Oops. 

Asahi is sitting on the bench in the clubroom, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. They don't have a ton of time before the others arrive, so Sugawara doesn't waste any time. 

"Asahi," he says, standing right in front of him so that when Asahi lifts his head, there's nowhere he can look but up at Sugawara. 

"I'm so sorry," Asahi says, words rushing out like he'd been holding them in for the whole month, like air rushing out of a balloon. "I just thought it was better. If I wasn't in the way. Better for you. I thought seeing me would just remind you…" Asahi trails off, shrugging a shoulder. "I couldn't face you. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. It's useless after all, isn't it?"

"The worst," Sugawara says, making Asahi flinch. He lets Asahi dangle another half-second before cupping his hands around Asahi's face, tilting it back up so Asahi can't hide anymore. "It hurt that you wouldn't talk to me about this. That you could give me up so easily."

"Wasn't easy," Asahi protests, but Sugawara shushes him. 

"You hurt me," Sugawara tells him, because shielding Asahi from the truth hasn't worked out so well. Maybe honesty will work better. "So now you get to spend our last year together making it up to me, got it?"

A flicker of disbelief crosses Asahi's face, then a shy, small smile. "Yeah. If it's okay, I'd really like that."

He catches Sugawara around the waist and pulls him close enough to bury his face against Sugawara's stomach, shoulders shaking with relief under Sugawara's hands. Sugawara tilts his head back and closes his eyes, hoping that between the two of them they can have enough courage to keep going, because Sugawara really doesn't have the energy to start all over again.


End file.
